Monday, February 8, 2010
Jordan Hoffman PA7 TSIS
In "Obesity: Much of the Responsibility Lies with Corporations," Engler opens up the story right away by saying that obesity is a problem without actually saying those exact words. "In early October there was a quirky report about U.S. coffin makers increasing the size of their product." What Engler means by this statement is that citizens of the United States are getting bigger and bigger and they need bigger coffins when they die. Engler also goes on to state the health effects that are direct links to obesity, "...more than 30 medical conditions, including heart disease, diabetes, hypertension, cancers, and possibly Alzheimer's." Susie Orbach's "Fat as a Feminist Issue," is a story about obesity in relation to just women. Eventhough she states good arguements and valid points, obesity is not just an issue only related to women. Many men suffer from this health issue as well. As stated in Engler's story, "...the prevalence of obesity more than doubled from 7 percent to 14 percent among women and to 16 percent from 6 percent among men." This statement clearly shows that the happenings of obesity actually happens more in men than women, unlike what Orbach tries to point out. In Zinczenko's "Don't Blame the Eater," he explains that the blame should not be placed on the consumer for eating fast food and not knowing the health concerns of fast food, when in reality, we know the concerns that fast food poses on our lives. Engler's story shows that Americans need to do something about their health and it's relation to fast food. If this does not happen, the coffins will keep getting bigger and bigger.
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I liked how you give different statistics that your author provides that are relevant with the topic of the article. However one thing that you could do better would be that you could explain how you interpreted the article instead of just restating in different words about what the author said. But overall I like how you wrote the argument and how you involved some of the most important quotes from the writing.
ReplyDeleteI liked your post. I agree that the responsibility relies on the corporations because they are the ones that set the standards for their fast food restaraunts and we for sure should not blame it on the consumer because they do not realize that the food they just ordered is "unhealthy". But i think I agree with sorgaardm-- like putting more detail into your post of how you understood your article. But overall your post was really good!
ReplyDeleteI think that you did a good job making your point clear. I like how you used quotes and references from your articles and also included citations. This helps convince the reader that you are making a legitimate argument. I also like how you effectively included and discussed the other articles that did not "measure up" to yours. These points tied in well with your statement and were well-organized. These points also showed the reader that you were able to effectively defend your viewpoint against counter-arguments.
ReplyDeleteI liked that you used statistics to show the comparison between men and women. It shows that yes, it is not just the women that face obesity but also men. I could agree that people these days are getting bigger and bigger, which does call for bigger coffins. It is actually quite sad to see that people are dying either from obesity or they are obese when they die. Overall, you did a good job.
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